Memorable quotes for
Alice's Restaurant (1969) More at IMDbPro »

Arlo Guthrie: Group W is where they putcha if you may not be moral enough to join the army after committin' your special crime. There was all kinds of mean, nasty ugly-lookin' people on the bench there. There was mother rapers... father stabbers... father rapers... Father rapers! Sittin' right there on the bench next to me!

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Officer Obie: Want your wallets and your belts. Put everything on the desk.
Arlo Guthrie: I can understand you wanting our wallets, so we don't have any money to spend in the cell, but what do you want our belts for?
Officer Obie: Kid, we don't want any hanging.
Arlo Guthrie: [pause] Obie, do you think we're gonna hang ourselves for littering?

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Arlo Guthrie: Just what I've always wanted.
Alice Brock: A restaurant?
Arlo Guthrie: No, a friend with a restaurant.

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Alice Brock: Take off those handcuffs!
Officer Obie: You're interfering in the performance of my duties.
Alice Brock: You're a meathead - haven't you play-acted cop enough for one day?
Officer Obie: This side is reserved for officers of the law and criminals.
Alice Brock: Pig-eyed idiot!
Officer Obie: Alice, I've had enough garbage for one day, yours and theirs.
Alice Brock: Stupid bastard!
Officer Obie: Alice...
Alice Brock: Cradle hopper!
Officer Obie: Alice!
Alice Brock: Turkey raper!

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Arlo Guthrie: Obie, when do we get our bread and water?
Officer Obie: Shut up, kid.

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Arlo Guthrie: Girdles feel funny.

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Arlo Guthrie: What funny smell?
[covering up the weed box]

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Arlo Guthrie: [unable to fill his urine-sample jar, at his Army physical] Anybody got some to spare?

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Criminal: [approaching Arlo on the bench] Kid, what'd you get?
Arlo Guthrie: I didn't get nothin'. I had to pay fifty dollars, and pick up the garbage.

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